you know when it's just one of the episodes when you're feeling unmotivated all of sudden. you've tried running or doing yoga again, but stopped after 2-3 sessions. before bed, there are just tons of thoughts form on your head but you ended up doing nothing in the morning. you lost all of your energy after just cleaning your room when there's a major pile of laundry waiting. your brain shuts the minute you open your laptop/tab. you keep promising yourself to be productive on your off days but you couldn't even bear to take a bath, nor choosing a nice outfit to go out. and to top all of that, you can't just do your weekly everything shower, isn't that crazy?
i know it's all normal, and it'll pass, you just need to keep going, yada yada, but when? when will this end? do i know the ETA of "this too shall pass"?
i'm feeling clustered and it's not good. i need to get off of my phone, i need to go out but where? my workdays are different than the rest of the world. it's like a hamster just running around in its wheel, i'm going nowhere. i can't spill out my words in my journal, my brain can't focus when i'm learning spanish. my perfectionism always taking over whenever i wanted to change something in my room. i feel like i need to record a video of me doing DIY and just to permanently deletes all the footage at the same night.
what is this feeling?
