sore (2025)

i came to the theatre with no expectations at all. i know this movie was based on the same title and same director (yandy laurens) back in 2019, but i've never watch it. But well well well, i don't believe myself too, but i got teary eyes after watching it.

(weekender.thejakartapost.com)

the premise was actually simple: sore (sheila dara aisha) claimed to be jonathan's (dion wiyoko) wife from the future. she's here to help him making the right decisions before actually meeting her in the future. i deadass thought this was just another angsty movie, but boy was i wrong. i could actually feel the headache and the mixed-feeling whenever sore came back to life, came back to jonathan's bedside and him having a panic seeing her.

you see, as someone who live both in tiktok-ville and x-ville, there are so many, too many discourse about this movie. some are saying that this movie is actually regressive on woman's movement because on how sore died every time jonathan made mistake (smoking and drinking and wont see his father) and that's just a waste of time, or how this movie is actually about climate change, yada yada. It's that movie where it has a 10/10 or 1/10 rating, and everyone went crazy or too woke for this movie to be just a work of art.

for me, i could see where they're come from. i could understand 'that one too woke friend' perspective, yes, i mean, sore is the final boss of 'i can fix him' typa shit. you wont see me dying every time a man made a mistake and came back to life just to watch him re-do his mistakes (i did tho, lol). 'regressive' is rather a strong word, even tho now everyone will quote "kalau aku harus ngulang seribu kali pun, kayaknya aku bakal tetap milih kamu, deh", gurl....just, don't.

i rather agree to the conspiracy theory on how sore was actually about climate change, and jonathan does unhealthy shit to himself was actually us doing unhealthy shit to the planet earth. sore is the ecological being that keeps on reminding us to take care of the earth, but eventually she'll be running out of energy, running out of time.

okay, like, why did i cry tho. i kinda related to at least two things: about a man, and about a father figure. i 'died' few times back then just to fix a man, until i realized i wont be stuck in this loop (ever) again, then i left, breaking the timeline (wow, ok, loki). and about a father figure, ah, as complicated as it is, jonathan might be a better person than me to be at peace with his father, that's all that i could say.

aside from the debates, we could actually agree that the cinematography in this movie is top notch, best one so far from local production. especially the last scene, gah daym. i'm getting excited and hopeful again with the local movie productions. i also love the song choice, tho, it has the 'time' related tittle or lyrics to it: Terbuang dalam Waktu (Barasuara), Hingga Ujung Waktu (Sheila on7) and Pancarona (Barasuara) that means the constant changing of emotions, not just the actual meaning 'colourful'.

for me it's a solid 10/10.
and the HMNS collab too were top notch.

i want to do anything but i did nothing

For the past two months, i've been feeling ups and downs. I feel like i want to do anything: i want to film tiktok video, i want to try a new makeup look, i want to finish a book in one day, but i ended up doing nothing.

I worked in a museum, so i have my day off on Monday, and other chosen day, i usually go for Thursday or Friday. So, every Sunday and Wednesday/Thursday night, i can think of so many things that i'd do in the morning: i'd wake up at 6, have my morning jog, waiting for my laundry while making breakfast at 8, read my TBR book til 1 pm then have a nap til 3pm. When the morning came, i woke up at 9, did not do my morning jog, did not do my laundry, shopeefoods my brunch at 11 and went back to bed scrolling on my tiktok til 4 pm. 

I'm pretty sure we've all been there, little did we know, we actually passed those times and feel fine again, but when it hits, it hits. I noticed, i've always been like this when i've been spending more time in my phone than in my journal. I left my journal empty for the past months, and it's not because i'm not depressed and don't have anything to crash out (God knows my thought went crazy every night), but simply because i don't feel like it. When i actually have the time and the mood to write, the feelings already passed.

This actually against the purpose of journaling (at least for me). I do journaling because i struggle to let out my feelings (an intj and the only child???pick a struggle). When my head is full i do crazy shit, well, i can do crazy shit when i'm not in my adult life and had to put myself together to appear professional, hence i always need my journal to keep my sanity.

But what did i do when i have a lot of things in my head and i also did not entry my journal: i went unproductive (i don't know if unproductive is a word). Like i said earlier, i lost in the algorithm and scroll for hours. Thankfully, tiktok has this feature where you can put your screen time limit, break and bedtime reminder. I know this feature for a while but i just use it for the past weeks. I set the screen limit for maximum 2 hours per day, break every 20 minutes of uninterrupted scrolls, and 10 pm bedtime. It helps, tho, i wished youtube (shorts) and instagram have this feature too.

I recently finished Rebel of the Sands trilogy by Alwyn Hamilton. I finished the first book on June and the other two this month. I'm so proud of myself, and i really wanted to keep my 'two books per month' streak going, considering i still have at least 10 TBR books. I wanted to keep my promise that i wouldn't buy new books if i haven't finished my TBRs but i just keep breaking it, so why bother.

I also writing this blog post exactly after i started to entry my journal again, i started writing this after dusk prayer. I feel better tho, a little bit (because i still had to work tomorrow, lol), hence why i could put my feelings here in the blog (and my journal). I've always been a writer myself, i've had this blog since i was in elementary school, ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, i probably was 12, and i'm 25, half to 26 now. I have my mental journal, my daily agenda, i always write my school/college materials on paper instead of gdocs, i write academic essays and became a speaker, i have this blog and Kompasiana blog. So when i'm not writing, i'm not okay.

For a while i think it's always doing nothing or doing anything.

I might have a condition, but tbh with you, i really want to have it checked but i don't have the money. But when i do, i'll be yapping with my therapist.

Peace out.