Wednesday, March 17, 2021

i went to Taiwan (virtually)


    Sooooo, like what I've mentioned somewhere in my post about joining student exchange (virtually), yea, I WENT TO TAIWAN (virtually). So here's the full story of theeeeet.

    One time, ketua HIMA aku share informasi mengenai pertukaran pelajar secara daring di grup angkatan, ada yang dalam negeri (PERMATA), dan luar negeri (ICT), tapi yang paling awal itu yang PERMATA, programnya KEMENDIKBUD. Aku memang tertarik dari awal mau join PERMATA, karena lumayan lah bisa main main ke kampus lain, meskipun virtually, tapi siapa tau dapet temen. Ada beberapa temen yang kemudian nge whatsapp aku, including ketua HIMA aku ini, nanya aku jadi ikut apa engga, I'm not so sure either, soalnya jadwal semester lima kemaren hella hectic. Beberapa hari kemudian, dosenku (yang juga kepala program studi) share lagi informasi mengenai PERMATA dan ICT di salah satu grup whatsapp mata kuliah aku, dan di forward juga di grup angkatan sama ketua HIMA aku. Terus, ketua HIMA aku ini persuasi aku buat ikut yang ICT aja, mempertimbangkan aku ada plus nya di bahasa Inggris (a.k.a. nilai toefl), soalnya dia juga mau ikut PERMATA, biar ngurangin saingan maksudnya. Padahal aku jelas kalah kalo dibandinginnya pake IPK.
    So, I decided buat langsung ikut aja yang ICT, dosenku yang lain juga nge whatsapp aku nawarin aku buat jadi perwakilan jurusan (sekaligus fakultas) buat ikut yang ICT, yaudah deh, I have no other choice. Aku siapin berkas-berkasnya, mulai dari bukti lulus protefl dengan nilai sekian, fotokopi ktm, dan sebagainya lah, termasuk IPK. Aku awalnya udah insecure soal IPK, walaupun aku cumlaude juga, tapi kalo diseleksi sama fakultas......ya.....intinya insecure, soalnya cuman diambil satu per fakultas. Udah deh, itu mepet banget, kayak cuman....dua atau tiga hari setelahnya itu adalah deadline pengumpulan berkas, makasih banget. Setelah aku kirim semua berkas lewat email, aku tiba-tiba di video call sama pihak fakultas dan diwawancara secara mendadak, intinya gitu, terus aku hari Senin, atau tiga hari setelahnya, aku ke rektorat buat wawancara beneran.
    Aku udah semakin-makin insecure-nya di rektorat, I know my rival, at least dari fakultasku, namanya Savira (shoutout, love u babe!) anak ilmu komunikasi, anak debating, jadi yaudalah aku udah pasti kalah banget. And yeah, waktu pengumuman, aku dinyatakan tidak diterima, karena bener-bener cuman satu aja per fakultas. I'm not even disappointed, karena itu tadi, I know my rival, dan dia pasti menang, udah gitu aja. So I just, move on, easily.
    BBBBBBBBBUT....
    Around five days or a week later, muncul pengumuman lagi yang kedua (jadi bedanya di skema dana, yang pertama dari KEMENDIKBUD, yang kedua ini dari kampus) dan aku lolos. I was so happy, but yet, kinda scared karena ini gimana---aku anaknya cukup gaptek, kalo online prosedurnya kaya gimana. But thanks to mba Tiara dan team KUIK UNY yang cukup menjelaskan dengan baik prosedurnya gimana, walau bukan ke software nya (MsTeams, makasih, susah banget), tapi overall cukup tercerahkan lah aku lah.
    Jadi aku mengikuti dua mata kuliah, yang dua-duanya juga nggak ada sangkutpautnya sama sejarah. Mata kuliah yang pertama dalah Topics in English and Globalization, yang membahas bagaimana sejarah dari bahasa Inggris, bagaimana bahasa Inggris berkembang kemudian menjadi lingua franca, dan bagaimana bahasa Inggris kemudian berkembang di 'lidah' non native speakers, utamanya di SE Asia dan di East Asia. Disini, aku cuman sama satu anak UMY, jurusan IPIREL (international program of international relations, a.k.a. mantan calon jurusan aku), namanya Salma---shoutout to her, she is shooo wholesome, dan dia lucu banget. Kinda wish I could met her sometimes, karena aku pikir rumah dia di Jakarta ternyata cuman di Klaten.
    Dosen kita juga wholesome banget, namanya Mr. Chuang, gatau mungkin karena kelasnya aja yang sedikit jadi lebih intimate gitu, atau emang orangnya aja yang suka cerita. Beliau punya banyak banget experience dan pernah ke seluruh dunia, including Indonesia, intinya sukakk banget aku sama beliau.





    Mata kuliah yang kedua namanya Multiculturalism and Global Perspective, ini lebih kepada---ya multiculturalism, jadi makulnya isinya presentasi negara-negara lain. Ada India, Philippines, Gambia, UK, banyak deh. Disini aku barengan sama Devi sama Zenni, dari sasing, dan kayak....70 mahasiswa lain, banyak banget ini kelas besar pol.





    Overall, aku emang bener bener jadwalnya padet banget semester lima, utamanya hari Selasa, mana ini dua-duanya hari Selasa, jadi aku......lima makul deh hari Selasa, die. Sebenernya proses belajarnya aku fine fine aja, tugasnya juga fine, cuman uas sama uts yang di makul multiculturalism itu yang rada sinting sih. Sama masalah ngatur waktu aku di hari Selasa itu, jadi hari Selasa gini nih jadwalku:

8.10 - 11.00
Topics in English and Globalization
9.00 - 11.00
History of Southeast Asia (Mr. Husiin UM)
Dosen pun exchange dari Malaysia
11.00 - 12.50
History of Europe
12.10 - 14.00
Multiculturalism and Global Perspective
13.00 - 14.40
History of East Asia
14.50 - 17.20
History of West Asia

    Bagaimana tidak njebluk otak dan laptop serta hapeku setiap hari Selasa, mana ketambahan sejarah Asia Tenggara sama dosen exchange. Struggle banget setiap hari Selasa, dan aku bener-bener menjauhkan diriku dari segala hal yang memiliki potensi membuat mood-ku goyah setiap hari Selasa, jadi aku ndekem di rumah biasanya kalo hari Selasa.
    But it was really a pleasure, a good memory, good learning process for me. Pertama kalinya dapet exchange dengan skema daring dan segala sambatannya. SHOUTOUT buat anak-anak ICT 2020 yang insecure pas diseminasi dengerin yang lain berangkat ke Jerman, Singapore, Malaysia (tapi habis itu langsung lockdown). 

[photo dump] everything that i've ever asked for














 

thankyou for the 365+30 days with you guys, I love you infinity, and I always wishing the best for us. I hope we meet again somewhere, maybe outside kamasetra, and I wish you always be happy with life. I believe that we can though anything, we can reach anything that we want.
sincere love,
Ratih

deleting social media

    So, since around October or last September 2020, I've deactivated my instagram and twitter account. For some reasons, indeed, I was busy with my assignments and kamasetra, but the actual reason, is that, I, am insecure. I don't really know what am I insecure for, or maybe I was just jealous. Jealous of other's life, their happy life, travelling and all, having money to pay for the covid test and the trip cost itself. And here I am living my boring life: online class and exhausting offline community. I mean, I did took some local trips to Bantul, Gunungkidul and Sleman, and sometimes I--myself, alone, went to somewhere to clear my mind, but I don't know why I don't feel the happiness of what other people show on their instagram account. The conclusion, instagram are just really exhausting, REALLY, exhausting. I don't know, whether I can still open my instagram account after 5 months of being deactivated, but up until this moment, I guess I don't care.

    Second, is my twitter account. To be honest, twitter was just much better than instagram in any way. The users are very open minded and they got 'words' to say, not just pictures, for me it's too blunt. But, because of that, the 'too' open minded people sometimes they are just straight up dumb, and not knowing what were they tweeting. Some tweets opening up about some things, like suicidal thoughts, insecurities and just toxic words----trigger me, sometimes, sometimes. I even tried to avoid some words by hiding or filtering(????) some words that could trigger me. But one night I gave up and I decided to deactivate it. I know that twitter has this regulation, when you deactivate your account for more than 30 days, it'll be automatically deleted. So, yeah. 

    The third account is my tiktok account, yes, I had tiktok, it's not because of me personally, but it was because of my cousin. It was fun because I love to dance, and there are many of good tips, tricks, hacks and recipes. But, again, it can be very exhausting and triggering for me. For once, I followed only 3 of my closest friends, and others are famous people, but then I set my account to private and start posting my videos without hijab---yeah, because of my other personality told me to do so---but, then again, I felt insecure about myself, especially, after I cut my hair short--like, very short. I looked like crazy. So I deleted it.

    It has been 5 months since I deleted my social media accounts, and I really did NOT regret anything. even though sometimes I kinda feel weird whenever my friends talking about someone did something on instagram, or whatever, kinda feel like I live in a cave, but hey....Tame Impala said that "the less I know the better". And how does deactivating social medias affect my mental health? well, it helps A LOT, at least I'm progressing, and I don't have to worry about other people's activities and achievements, I can be more focus on myself. Deleting my social media also prevents me for knowing the information that I actually avoiding---prevents myself for getting hurt, and that's just......ALL that I ever asked for.

    So, I know, it's weird, in this era of online plus the covid thingy, you just don't have any social media. But for me, especially, in this time of crisis, everyone need to be sane. This is my way to  keep my sanity.

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